I have many drafts nestled away in these folders. They bring understanding, as they bring the realization that these feelings have been lingering for months- that they sit at my core in a carousel of their choice.
sweet girl, what do you want? your heart yearns. you don't find security in God so much, because you are so afraid of finding yourself alone in this dark world. light feels fading within you, and the enemy aims his sights, holding off on the trigger.
I pushed him to this. The weight of the lie stings, bears into my shoulders pushing my face almost directly into the dirt. But I made this lie my flesh- I made it my arms and set my eyes upon it.
I put up wallpaper over windows, thinking they were walls. I made plans of dreams. Because the outside is much too scary.
so, sweet girl, what do you want?
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