identity (free to be me)

I'm not going to apologize anymore

for being who I am

and what I love.

that one minute I love doo-wop music

and the next Aerosmith

and the next Regina Spektor.

I won't apologize

for the combat boots with sundresses

and the red lipstick that might get on my teeth.

I won't apologize

for wanting to play in fountains

and thinking people talk too loud

but loving loud laughter that fills space.

I won't apologize

for loving America and France and Canada

and not knowing where I will end up.

I won't apologize for the some days

I can't get out of bed

and for the posts that are too painfully long

(and personal.)

I won't apologize for having

a young girl's heart,

a wrinkled woman's mind,

and a twenty-year old's body.

I won't apologize for not caring

if they mess up my order,

if they don't like to walk slow,

if they think they can do better.

I won't apologize for changing things

that people say they love

sooo much about me

because their opinions don't make a home

in my heart.

(mine do.)

I won't apologize for the light and love

that shines out of my smile

that I can't control

because it's not my own.

I won't apologize for how hard I work on little things

or how deep I love,

or how much I love.

even if they don't deserve it.

even if it hurts.

even if I know they don't feel the same.

because that's also not mine, either.


…………….


I won't apologize for being me,

Sister,

Friend,

Helper.

Big Mac,

Kenzie,

Button,

or Bird Hair.

My soul is what it is- freely, all me.