My last morning in Charleston was over a week ago. Most others left on Sunday in the midsts of tears, and the sound of hearts breaking reverberated over car engines leaving the hotel parking lot. It hurt so terribly, to walk around the city for a day knowing that I was not going to run into one of my friends at our favorite spots. I revisited Cathedral, Redeemer, the Market, Francis Marion, Waterfront at night. I got a free sample of pralines and gelato and lemonade. I heard the honking of horns and the music of restaurants and the wheels of bike taxis (by the way, I finally was able to ride one- it was wildly wonderful). I cherished those last days- I was so grateful to have a elongated goodbye with the city I had had a beautiful, passionate summer fling with for two months.
Coming back on Tuesday, I stopped by my McDonald's for one last goodbye. That place had become my home every week, but now my anchor was pulled away.
As I was making my way homeward bound, I watched the landscape elevate and evolve. Palms became pines, seagulls became songbirds. I watched it all change before my eyes.
Today marks my I don't even know what day of being back in Kentucky. As we were on the tail end of my ten-hour drive from Charleston, the forested hillsides sprang into my view, and I asked myself if this beautiful state really was the one I have called home for twelve or so years. But at the same time, coming home was so hard. I was so afraid, and still am.
I arrived home to a house full of family. I arrived to a lush backyard garden and a literal jungle of sunflowers to keep me company (they kind of look like palm trees, swaying in the wind). It is peaceful but I feel God's presence heavy on my heart, and I feel the pain of being away from my new loved ones in such a powerfully inexplicable way.
I'll be writing some more (hopefully a lot more, because I desperately need the reflection time) in the next several weeks leading up to the school, and I will be posting here, but thank you. Thank you to every person who has ever looked at this blog or supported me or liked a picture or status, or even just smiled at thinking of me this summer. I will try eventually, but the journey you all sent me and supported me on- a journey of healing, of triumph, of purpose, of love- is the greatest adventure I have known, and carrying it in my heart every day has made me a new person, really.
PS I have lately grown really worn over Facebook, so you might not see a lot of me there, but I will be around and plan to continue this blog (more to come later, for now, sleep).
let's celebrate all of this together.
MacKenzie
