I encourage every person of any belief, Christian or not (but especially too if you are walking with God in a relationship with Him because this may just ROCK YOUR WORLD), to weigh these verses on their heart.
"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us."
I am also going to confess some things to this blog and whoever may read it. As revealed to me through my bible studies and personal time with the Lord, I have realized that I have been a pretender for a very large amount of my time as a Christian. By pretending, I mean that I diminish my sin and like to believe and appear like I am not as bad as what I really am (which is pretty dang bad, if I can be honest with y'all). I am so desperate to pretend these things that I have an awful habit of hiding the bad AND the good sometimes from people (as seen in my crippling shyness and shallow relationships with people). I can speak generically and talk circles around my sins like ordering a #1 combo instead of saying I want a Big Mac without onions with extra Mac sauce. I downplay the real issues I am having when I do feel vulnerable enough to discuss them with others, speaking in cryptic terms that still attempt to paint a "beautiful" but blurred picture of what is going on. In doing these things, I shrink the height and magnitude of the cross and wear a mask around Christians and non-Christians alike to try to seem like I am more perfect than what I truly am.
As comes with all things held in, pressure builds, and those root sins left unexposed come out in habits of sin, attitude, and action. We hold onto and hide our wounds, our pasts, and our personalities. Our spiritual health decays.
But… you all know that living that way is not genuine. I know it, too. I feel it so often in fibbing about my current state. So I guess the question to answer is, what is the source of salvation for a pretender?
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
John tells us that as relational beings are called to walk in the light. If you anything like me, when you read that verse you brushed away the phrase "walking in the light." It is easy enough to interpret that God is light in his holiness and purity and by Him everything else is illuminated, but what does it mean for me personally to walk in the light? Am I not already automatically just by being a Christian?
The answer to that is no. As a Christian, walking in the light entails a journey and pursuit of light. It entails being open and exposed to others and to God as we seek purity and holiness like Him.
OPEN AND EXPOSED, friends. Those words strike so much fear in my heart. I can barely confront a waiter about getting a root beer instead of a Coke, let alone be open and vulnerable with people about the condition of my heart! It has been a ride since Sunday, attempting to be vulnerable and approachable with other people on project.
It has been an adventure to say the least, but… I think I can take off my mask with these people. It is safe and most of my struggles fall on understanding and empathetic ears.
But what about the deep, real stuff? I am still very afraid of exposing myself, of taking off the makeup I have caked on for my benefit and my own righteousness, for my last-ditch shield against hurt and actually dealing with these things. But exposing myself (not to everyone, but some) in this kind of way is going to allow me to have a true and deep fellowship with them. I don't want to have two sides of one very inauthentic relationship. And I should not do that with God, either, because He knows the depths of my heart, even those I do not wish to explore.
There is hope in walking in the light. It is terrifying to be exposed, but in that Jesus can purify us of our sins (even the ones hardest to share). I can speak to that for my own experience- for certain particularly hard parts of my walk I have had to seek the advice and fellowship of others. I had to be vulnerable around those that I really did not want to. There are certain things I held onto for months that wreaked their havoc in my life until I finally approached them with vulnerability and an openness to God and others, and only then did I not feel helpless to them.
Anyways, I am still exploring these ideas and verses, but that is just a snippet of the content and truth that has been revealed to me this week. :)
It has been an adventure to say the least, but… I think I can take off my mask with these people. It is safe and most of my struggles fall on understanding and empathetic ears.
But what about the deep, real stuff? I am still very afraid of exposing myself, of taking off the makeup I have caked on for my benefit and my own righteousness, for my last-ditch shield against hurt and actually dealing with these things. But exposing myself (not to everyone, but some) in this kind of way is going to allow me to have a true and deep fellowship with them. I don't want to have two sides of one very inauthentic relationship. And I should not do that with God, either, because He knows the depths of my heart, even those I do not wish to explore.
There is hope in walking in the light. It is terrifying to be exposed, but in that Jesus can purify us of our sins (even the ones hardest to share). I can speak to that for my own experience- for certain particularly hard parts of my walk I have had to seek the advice and fellowship of others. I had to be vulnerable around those that I really did not want to. There are certain things I held onto for months that wreaked their havoc in my life until I finally approached them with vulnerability and an openness to God and others, and only then did I not feel helpless to them.
Anyways, I am still exploring these ideas and verses, but that is just a snippet of the content and truth that has been revealed to me this week. :)
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