saturday, june 28th, 2014
(a collection of snoozy blurbs)
yesterday, i watched my hair sink to the ground. the people cried. they rejoiced, they giggled, they stared, they dreamed. and they didn't stop.
i learned what grief means on sunday, what it should mean and what it does mean to me. repentance with a heart of walls means getting more bricks; with one of doors, letting light in. i also learned of Godly grieving and worldly grieving. i definitely am more often sorry for my actions than the core roots of sin that take hold of me.
being a follower has become one of my strongest descriptors. it always has been, but there are lies that wallow in my heart that disable me from being a leader.
[lies that I can show more of God because of my story.
lies that I deserve special treatment or pity because of where I've been.
lies that I shouldn't do or lead things back of my campus.
lies that growth is based on my teacher's spiritual maturity.
lies that instability or the unknown are things to strongly fear.]
i have started writing these lies down, because they seem so powerless sketched on my journal's insides. they can't hurt me in there (but only with God's band-aids).
my discipler and i discussed my strengths and growing areas and my vision and short and long-term goals- I love lists and how they can simply and beautifully describe orders and sets.
there is so much more but it is really difficult to capture it all. our staff people, our mentors leave tomorrow. their suitcases sit like barrels of tea before the boston tea party- we have no idea what this is going to spark, but it is going to powerful and (hopefully) take us with it.
[pink sinking like a breath / melange of life and death / all in a sun's set]
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